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A Conversation With Stephen Alzis

Categories: Section Eight

Stupid gay god!

The Man in Black, (c) 1998

Subj: DG: DG : a conversation with Stephan Alzis
Date: 98-04-23 16:54:28 EDT
From: mib@cyberspace.org (The Man in Black)
Sender: owner-deltagreen@nocturne.org
Reply-to: deltagreen@nocturne.org (Delta Green List)
To: deltagreen@nocturne.org (Delta Green List)

CAST OF CHARACTERS:

The Man in Black: (mib)
Darryl Montgomery: (Darryl)
Stephan Alzis: (N.)

TRANSSCRIPT:

(mib): “So, we’ve decided that the 7th Generation is to be terminated from within the ranks to the Fate. But that leaves just one question: What do you want?”

(N.): “Let’s leave that up in the air for now…”

(mib): (long pause) “You’re Nyarlathotep aren’t you?”

(N.): “No.”

(mib): “Sure you are!”

(N.): (curtly) “No, I am not.”

(mib): “You are so! Quit playin’ wit’ me man.”

(N.): “Look, I am *NOT* Nyarlathotep alright. How many times do I have to say it?”

(mib): (to Darryl) “You know, he sounds just like Nyarlathotep.”

(Darryl): “Who?”

(N.): “I do not sound like Nyarlathotep!”

(mib): “That’s just what Nyarlathotep would say.”

(N.): “Well what about you? You’re the guy advancing all that fringe science and other technological wonders.”

(mib): “Yeah, but I don’t have a cult of insane sorcerers who worship me and call me Nyarlathotep, now do I?”

(N.): “Well, yeah..”

(mib): “And you don’t see me coming back from the dead do you?”

(N.): “Well, yeah…”

(mib): “Then you admit it. You’re the mailman, mighty messenger, FedExing Joy to Yuggoth.”

(N.): “I am not.”

(mib): “Crawl for me like the chaos you are, c’mon Crawl for the mib.”

(N.): “No.”

(mib): “Well, would you consider going postal for me?”

(N.): “Believe me, I’ve been considering it for a while now.”

(Darryl): “Who is this Nyarlathotep guy anyway?”

(mib): “Don’t worry about it.”

(N.): “Don’t you have some 1968 quarters to track or something?”

(Darryl): “No.”

(N.): “Oh, all right then.”

(mib): “Don’t you have some whims of Azathoth to obey or something?”

(N.): “No.”

(mib): “Oh, all right then.”

(mib): “Say, I loved that thing with the mountain of the black wind. When are you going to appear there again?”

(N.): “Thank you… Uh, I mean, that wasn’t me.”

(mib): “It wasn’t? Then I thought it sucked. I was just being polite on the off chance that you were Nyarlathotep.”

(N.): “It DID NOT SUCK! Uh, I mean, you know, How would I know because I wasn’t there.”

(mib): “Yeah, sure, whatever. One thing I’ve always wanted to know: Why a fat chinese bitch? That one always got to me. Tell me, do you still cross dress?”

(N.): “I AM NOT NYARLATHOTEP! I AM NOT! *I* *AM* *NOT*!”

(mib): “Do you cross dress because you’re gay?”

(N.): “I am not gay either!”

(mib): “huh huh, stupid gay god.”

(N.): “I think that I will leave now.”

(mib): “You’re attracted to me aren’t you?”

(N.): “Not in this lifetime.”

(mib): “No, it’s OK, really. It’s kinda flattering in a queasy sort of way.”

(N.): “Look, I am not Nyarlathotep and neither am I gay.”

(mib): “Are too.”

(N.): “AM Not!”

(mib): “Are too.”

(N.): “ARRRGH!” (vanishes in a puff of smoke)

(mib): “Gee, I never thought Nyarlathotep could be so touchy.”

TRANSCRIPT ENDS

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