Date: Thu, 24 Dec 1998 13:13:42 -0800 (PST) From: Chris Womack Reply-To: Delta Green List To: email@example.com Subject: DG: a lovecraft christmas This is doubtless known to you, but worth posting in observance of the season, nonetheless (besides, things are deathly quiet today...). Enjoy, and Merry X-Mas. Chris Womack Keeper of the List firstname.lastname@example.org PS: MIB--No encouraging the Herald to go on another of his WWII lectures, now. ;) A Lovecraft Christmas by Paul M. Lemieux Copyright 1989 (With apologies to Clement Moore) Twas the night before Yuletide and all through the hole Not a creature was stirring, not even a Dhole Aldebaren hung at the right place at nine In the hopes that Great Cthulhu would come out this time The fungi from Yuggoth, all snug in their caves Were plotting to turn all the people to slaves The Deep Ones in Rlyeh, the Ghouls in their graves Were dancing and singing and acting depraved When what to my wondering eyes should appear But a mouldering sleigh and eight corpselike reindeer With a horrible driver so leprous and reeking I knew right away that my fear was unspeaking The reindeer were gross, as they flew up from hell And It hoarsely whispered and chanted a spell Ia Shub Niggurath! Cthulhu ftagn! Nyarlathotep! I summon you on! As decomposed flesh before the charnel stench rise And meet with the open air polluting the skies Up to the housetop the horror it rose And the gangrenous odors assailed my nose And then in a slopping noise heard on the roof The lumbering clomping of octopoid hoofs As I drew in my head and was turning around The horror lurched into my room with a bound Its eyes how they pulsate So bulbous and gory This blasphemous creature So noxious and hoary I was frozen by fear, my feet woudn't run I threw up my cookies, this wasn't much fun It whispered my name and said "You come with I" I tried to refuse and it said "Then you die" It came at my throat with its grim claws extended But a miracle saved its victim intended I had three Elder Signs in a slot in the floor It screamed with a fiendish sound and went out the door It sprang to its sleigh, and its team gave a surge And away they all flew to the sound of a dirge I heard it exclaim as it flew out of sight You're lucky this time, for the stars weren't right.