Subj: DG: A Conversation with Y'golonac (or Mib's European Vacation) Date: 98-06-13 21:57:18 EDT From: mib@cyberspace.org (The Man in Black) Sender: owner-deltagreen@nocturne.org Reply-to: deltagreen@nocturne.org (Delta Green List) To: deltagreen@nocturne.org (Delta Green List) #5 MEMCON (Memorandum of Conversation) CAST OF CHARACTERS: (mib): The Man in Black (TBO): The Bloated One, Y'golonac, The Hands that Feed, aka Senor Sock (BUZZ): Buzz the Mi-Go, mib sidekick (Adolph): Canned Brain and Mi-Go sidekick (Mr. Squick): Delta Green's favorite insane necromantic pervert TRANSCRIPT BEGINS: Subterranean Temple of Y'golonac Severn Valley, UK (mib): "Hey Buzz, I thought we weren't supposed to be in England?" (BUZZ): "Bzzzt. Bz zzzt. [Green:Yellow:Violet]" (brandishes glittering tool) (mib): "Oh. It's, um, really comforting to know you read the article on emergency trepanation." (BUZZ): "ZZ! BZZZ! BZ! BUZZ! [Red:red:UV]" (aims lightning ball at temple) (mib): "YOU HEARD 'EM FATSO! COME OUT OF THAT TEMPLE WITH YOUR HANDS UP!" (from the ruined temple of the bloated one, deep beneath the corrupt soil of the ancient Severn Valley, a white tube of fibrous material emerges) (TBO East): "Hola! Ey em Senor Sock, eh humble sock puppayt and lov-air of women." (mib): "YOU'RE NOT FOOLING ANYONE Y'GOLONAC!" (BUZZ): "BZ BZB BZ! [yellow:Orange:White]" (TBO West): "No, that's really Senor Sock, and I am Quiet Willy, a shy but loveable hand puppet from across the lake of milk and cookies." (mib): "Gawd! Why do I always get the weird ones? NOBODY LIKES THAT PUPPET GAME, Y'GOLONAC! NOW COME OUT OF THERE OR WE START SHOOTING!" (BUZZ): (fires the lightning gun and knocks over several underground support pillars, much rubble rains down in the cavern) (mib): "Relax, Buzz! We're not shooting yet!" (BUZZ): (fires the lightning gun into the temple) (TBO East): "AHH! Por favor! Do not shoot me! Senor Sock whill come peac-a-full." (BUZZ): (fires the lightning gun into the temple) (mib): "Ah, hell with it." (fires quark beam into the temple) ******* A LITTLE LATER (in the smoking ruins of the Temple of Y'golonac) ******* (mib): "...you have the right to remain bloated, should you refuse that right, a state appointed dietician will be appointed to you. Do you understand?" (TBO West): "I am not Bloated! I am Quiet Willy, a hand puppet! Leave me alone you big meanie!" (TBO East): "OH WOE! is this the end of Senor Sock?" (mib): "Shut the HELL up!" (handcuffs the hands that feed) ******* A LITTLE LATER ******* Severn Valley Supermarket Produce Aisle (pleasant supermarket muzak plays, no one pays any mind to the huge insect-like alien fungus) (BUZZ): "ZZT! Bzz buzz buzz bzzt. [topaz:blue:seagreen]" (mib): "Yeah, I see him." (approaches shopper examining cabbages) (Mr. Squick): (stops intimately feeling a cabbage) "Can I help you chaps." (mib): "Yeah, check this out, you tea-sippin' pansy..." (clobbers Mr. Squick with a truncheon sized neuralyzer) ******* A LITTLE LATER ******* MIB UFO Squadcar Somewhere over the Atlantic Ocean (Mr. Squick): "Eh What? Wha' hoppen? Oh! My head." (BUZZ): "Bzzzt Bz bzz. [green:green:violet]" (TBO East): "Hola! Ey em Senor Sock, an ey-nocent veecteem of thees facisto eh-nd hees fungus." (Mr. Squick): (peers blearily at Y'golonac) "EEEEEEYYYYYYYAAAAAAAHHHHHHH! EEEEEEEYYYYYYYAAAAAAAHHHHHHH! EEEEEEEYYYYYYYAAAAAAAHHHHHHH! NO HEAD! NO HEAD! NO HEAD! EEEEEEEYYYYYYYAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" (thrashes about frantically) (TBO West): "Geez, what's his problem?" (Mr. Squick): (shudders violently) "No... head... no... bloody... head..." (mib): "What did you do to that head-humping limey, Y'golonac? Don't make me pull this thing over." (TBO East): "Y'golonac? What ees Y'golonac? Ey em Senor Sock, Dan-saer, Ro-man-saer." (Mr. Squick): "OHMIGAWD! IT TALKS! IT TALKS!" (mib): "Dammit! Buzz, do something to shut him up. I'm trying to pilot this UFO here." (BUZZ): (passes Mr. Squick a burnished metallic cylinder labeled "Adolph") (Adolph): "Guten Dag! I am Adolph." (Mr. Squick): (unscrews lid and looks inside) (Adolph): "Pleez not to lookink inside my can." (Mr. Squick): "Ooh! Unskulled brain!" (SQUICK! SQUICK! SQUICK!) (Adolph): "GAH! VAT IST DIS!? CEASE DIS JUDEN OUTRAGE!" (TBO): (nervously scoots over, away from Mr. Squick) (Mr. Squick): (SQUICK! SQUICK! SQUICK!) (Adolph): "MEIN GOTT! MEIN GOTT IN HIMMEL!" (dies) (TBO West): "WAH! You can't put me in a UFO wif a sicko like him! I wanna go back to Judy! Judy wikes me! WAH! WAH! WAH!" (mib): (gives Buzz a dirty look) "I can't believe you gave Adolph to that pervert." (BUZZ): (nonchalantly munches on a Shan from the several cylinders filled in the UK) (mib): "Bleah! I'm never going back to England ever again." TRANSCRIPT ENDS
