logo


A Conversation With Y’golonac

Categories: Section Eight

Subj:	 DG: A Conversation with Y'golonac (or Mib's European Vacation)
Date:	98-06-13 21:57:18 EDT
From:	mib@cyberspace.org (The Man in Black)
Sender:	owner-deltagreen@nocturne.org
Reply-to:	deltagreen@nocturne.org (Delta Green List)
To:	deltagreen@nocturne.org (Delta Green List)

#5 MEMCON (Memorandum of Conversation) 

CAST OF CHARACTERS:

(mib): The Man in Black

(TBO): The Bloated One, Y'golonac, The Hands that Feed, aka Senor Sock

(BUZZ): Buzz the Mi-Go, mib sidekick

(Adolph): Canned Brain and Mi-Go sidekick

(Mr. Squick): Delta Green's favorite insane necromantic pervert

TRANSCRIPT BEGINS:

Subterranean Temple of Y'golonac
Severn Valley, UK

(mib): "Hey Buzz, I thought we weren't supposed to be in England?"

(BUZZ): "Bzzzt. Bz zzzt. [Green:Yellow:Violet]" (brandishes glittering
tool)

(mib): "Oh. It's, um, really comforting to know you read the article on
emergency trepanation." 

(BUZZ): "ZZ! BZZZ! BZ! BUZZ! [Red:red:UV]" (aims lightning ball at temple) 

(mib): "YOU HEARD 'EM FATSO! COME OUT OF THAT TEMPLE WITH YOUR HANDS UP!"

(from the ruined temple of the bloated one, deep beneath the corrupt soil
of the ancient Severn Valley, a white tube of fibrous material emerges)

(TBO East): "Hola! Ey em Senor Sock, eh humble sock puppayt and lov-air of
women."

(mib): "YOU'RE NOT FOOLING ANYONE Y'GOLONAC!"

(BUZZ): "BZ BZB BZ! [yellow:Orange:White]"

(TBO West): "No, that's really Senor Sock, and I am Quiet Willy, a shy but
loveable hand puppet from across the lake of milk and cookies." 

(mib): "Gawd! Why do I always get the weird ones? NOBODY LIKES THAT PUPPET
GAME, Y'GOLONAC! NOW COME OUT OF THERE OR WE START SHOOTING!"

(BUZZ): (fires the lightning gun and knocks over several underground
support pillars, much rubble rains down in the cavern)

(mib): "Relax, Buzz! We're not shooting yet!"

(BUZZ): (fires the lightning gun into the temple)

(TBO East): "AHH! Por favor! Do not shoot me! Senor Sock whill come
peac-a-full."

(BUZZ): (fires the lightning gun into the temple)

(mib): "Ah, hell with it." (fires quark beam into the temple)

*******

A LITTLE LATER (in the smoking ruins of the Temple of Y'golonac)

*******

(mib): "...you have the right to remain bloated, should you refuse that
right, a state appointed dietician will be appointed to you. Do you
understand?"

(TBO West): "I am not Bloated! I am Quiet Willy, a hand puppet! Leave me
alone you big meanie!"

(TBO East): "OH WOE! is this the end of Senor Sock?"

(mib): "Shut the HELL up!" (handcuffs the hands that feed)

*******

A LITTLE LATER 

*******

Severn Valley Supermarket
Produce Aisle

(pleasant supermarket muzak plays, no one pays any mind to the huge
insect-like alien fungus) 

(BUZZ): "ZZT! Bzz buzz buzz bzzt. [topaz:blue:seagreen]"

(mib): "Yeah, I see him." (approaches shopper examining cabbages)

(Mr. Squick): (stops intimately feeling a cabbage) "Can I help you chaps."

(mib): "Yeah, check this out, you tea-sippin' pansy..." (clobbers Mr. 
Squick with a truncheon sized neuralyzer) 

*******

A LITTLE LATER

*******

MIB UFO Squadcar
Somewhere over the Atlantic Ocean

(Mr. Squick): "Eh What? Wha' hoppen? Oh! My head."

(BUZZ): "Bzzzt Bz bzz. [green:green:violet]"

(TBO East): "Hola! Ey em Senor Sock, an ey-nocent veecteem of thees
facisto eh-nd hees fungus." 

(Mr. Squick): (peers blearily at Y'golonac)  "EEEEEEYYYYYYYAAAAAAAHHHHHHH! 
EEEEEEEYYYYYYYAAAAAAAHHHHHHH! EEEEEEEYYYYYYYAAAAAAAHHHHHHH! NO HEAD! NO
HEAD! NO HEAD! EEEEEEEYYYYYYYAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" (thrashes about frantically)

(TBO West): "Geez, what's his problem?"

(Mr. Squick): (shudders violently) "No... head... no... bloody... head..."

(mib): "What did you do to that head-humping limey, Y'golonac? Don't make
me pull this thing over."

(TBO East): "Y'golonac? What ees Y'golonac? Ey em Senor Sock, Dan-saer,
Ro-man-saer."

(Mr. Squick): "OHMIGAWD! IT TALKS! IT TALKS!"

(mib): "Dammit! Buzz, do something to shut him up. I'm trying to pilot
this UFO here." 

(BUZZ): (passes Mr. Squick a burnished metallic cylinder labeled "Adolph")

(Adolph): "Guten Dag! I am Adolph."

(Mr. Squick): (unscrews lid and looks inside)

(Adolph): "Pleez not to lookink inside my can."

(Mr. Squick): "Ooh! Unskulled brain!" (SQUICK! SQUICK! SQUICK!)

(Adolph): "GAH! VAT IST DIS!? CEASE DIS JUDEN OUTRAGE!"

(TBO): (nervously scoots over, away from Mr. Squick)

(Mr. Squick): (SQUICK! SQUICK! SQUICK!)

(Adolph): "MEIN GOTT! MEIN GOTT IN HIMMEL!" (dies)

(TBO West): "WAH! You can't put me in a UFO wif a sicko like him! I wanna
go back to Judy! Judy wikes me! WAH! WAH! WAH!" 

(mib): (gives Buzz a dirty look) "I can't believe you gave Adolph to that
pervert."

(BUZZ): (nonchalantly munches on a Shan from the several cylinders
filled in the UK)

(mib): "Bleah! I'm never going back to England ever again."

TRANSCRIPT ENDS
Shane Ivey runs Arc Dream Publishing and is the lead editor of the newest Delta Green projects.

Leave a Reply