Date: Mon, 12 Oct 1998 20:21:45 -0400 (EDT) From: The Man in Black Subject: DG: Support Your Local Police Department (cue cheesy 1950's documentary music and run B&W grainy filmstrip) [NWO FILMS] [MODE : Anticipation] Good Day, citizens, I am the Man in Black and today we are putting aside Gorilla Butt-Rape (TM) , Diceless Shit Generation (also TM), and other equally facinating topics to discuss Your Local Police Department. [835.287 Cortex Emulation] [MODE : Belief] Your Local Police Department can add hours of fun and enjoyment to your Delta Green Campaign. While some municipal law enforcement organizations dislike Federal involvement within their jurisdictions, others welcome the additional resources. In either case role-playing can be enhanced. [science.term : 20326.396] [spurious interrupt] [!!.ai.net] [MODE : Facination] The Keeper can use officers of the law as an obstacle, object lesson, or simply quirky comic relief. They can also be valuable allies with local contacts, informants and knowledge of where the best places to eat and drink and be merry in are located. Here we examine some of the stereotypical archetypes of police officers in traditional entertainment. [end cycle] [axon overfeed] [MODE : Appreciation] The Partners: this pairing of rookie and veteran often starts off antagonistic but always end up tighter than a USAAMRIID Anus at an Ebola breakout. Their beautiful friendship is usually doomed however, when the older veteran cop is killed, retired or otherwise put out of the picture. The Enforcer: A hard-bitten grizzled low-life who is always on the verge of vigilantism. His "Lone wolf" attitude wreaks havoc on the departments morale. Usually ends up named in lawsuits, named in violent newspaper stories about police brutality, and being screamed at in The Captain's Office. Probably carrying his gun at all times, a big gun, a *really* big gun, to keep it readily available for fondling and whispering sweet nothings to. The Last Honest Cop: attracts corruption like a goth sucks up angst. He is always surrounded by dirty cops and fears for his life should he get the nerve to testify. Beloved by journalists, grand juries and lawyers, he will most likely end up caught in a door and shot by criminals when his back-up doesn't. The Dirty Cop: He's the one your momma warned you about. Always bluffing about turning in his badge. Works with criminals and low-lifes. Will either be shot by The Enforcer or arrested by The Last Honest Cop. Could assume the identity of *any* of the other stereotypes. The Lieutenant: this is a sort of "ubercop" who identifies leads and assigns tasks and to his detectives in an omniscient machiavellian manner that Grand Admiral Thrawn would be proud of. When something goes wrong, he will be the guy talking to the press and taking the fall when the politicoes get a bug up their ass. The Captain: Similiar to the LT., the Captain is a little past his prime. New tools and methods of law enforcement and criminal behavior occasionally escape his attention. Will soon either retire or metamorphose into a Politcal Uniform. Roleplaying hint: be everyone's kind aunt/uncle until something goes wrong, then scream and rant and rave like a berserk USMC Drill Instructor. Be LOUD, Really Loudly! DAMMIT ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME YOU WORTHLESS MAGGOT~! I SAID BE REALLY LOUD~! NOW SUCK SOME AIR INTO YOUR SORRY CARCASS AND SOUND OFF LIKE YOU GOTTA PAIR~! The Rookie: it is the job of the rookie to be blown away in the first few minutes of any shootout with a badass criminal. Then the vengeance of the law comes down and inevitably destroys any abberant cop-killers in the area. The Country Sheriff: an amiable bumpkin who spends lazy days keeping his bumbling deputy out of trouble, babysitting the town-drunk, and eating fine southern-fried foods. Could become extremely competant in times of crisis as racial memories of Confederate heroism during the civil-war are dredged up by an encounter with the forces of the mythos. Due to extensive hunting and killing of small furry animals with large wet eyes, the country sheriff could probably shoot the whiskers off'n a horsefly at 100 paces, while drunk and blindfolded. The SWAT guy: This truly bad-ass is a walking action movie. Somehow he always gets the two-fisted John-Woo Asian Revenge blood soaked cases of DOOM~! He never runs out of ammo except on a critical failure (wherepon his ultra-kewl reloading action gives him a bonus to intimidation), he never get hit, even while taking a pleasant stroll through multiple fields of fire. Often, innocuous looking objects will explode for no reason when he is around. Sometimes, he likes to inexplicably chant "HUT HUT HUT!" ******* That's all for now, in part TWO we examine how different police divisions operate in the genuine authentic manner of television shows like Silk Stalkings, Starsky & Hutch, and Marshal Law. The Man in Black is : Kenneth Scroggins Novus Ordo Seclorum : Annuit Coeptus : E Pluribus Unum
