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Support Your Local Police Department

Categories: Section Eight

Date: Mon, 12 Oct 1998 20:21:45 -0400 (EDT)
From: The Man in Black 
Subject: DG: Support Your Local Police Department

(cue cheesy 1950's documentary music and run B&W grainy filmstrip)

[NWO FILMS]
[MODE : Anticipation]

Good Day, citizens, I am the Man in Black and today we are putting aside
Gorilla Butt-Rape (TM) , Diceless Shit Generation (also TM), and other
equally facinating topics to discuss Your Local Police Department.

[835.287 Cortex Emulation]
[MODE : Belief]

Your Local Police Department can add hours of fun and enjoyment to your
Delta Green Campaign. While some municipal law enforcement organizations
dislike Federal involvement within their jurisdictions, others welcome
the additional resources. In either case role-playing can be enhanced.

[science.term : 20326.396]
[spurious interrupt]
[!!.ai.net]
[MODE : Facination]

The Keeper can use officers of the law as an obstacle, object lesson, or
simply quirky comic relief. They can also be valuable allies with local
contacts, informants and knowledge of where the best places to eat and
drink and be merry in are located. Here we examine some of the
stereotypical archetypes of police officers in traditional entertainment.

[end cycle]
[axon overfeed]
[MODE : Appreciation]

The Partners: this pairing of rookie and veteran often starts off
antagonistic but always end up tighter than a USAAMRIID Anus at an Ebola
breakout. Their beautiful friendship is usually doomed however, when the
older veteran cop is killed, retired or otherwise put out of the picture.

The Enforcer: A hard-bitten grizzled low-life who is always on the verge
of vigilantism. His "Lone wolf" attitude wreaks havoc on the departments
morale. Usually ends up named in lawsuits, named in violent newspaper
stories about police brutality, and being screamed at in The Captain's
Office. Probably carrying his gun at all times, a big gun, a *really* big
gun, to keep it readily available for fondling and whispering sweet
nothings to. 

The Last Honest Cop: attracts corruption like a goth sucks up angst. He is
always surrounded by dirty cops and fears for his life should he get the
nerve to testify. Beloved by journalists, grand juries and lawyers, he
will most likely end up caught in a door and shot by criminals when his
back-up doesn't.

The Dirty Cop: He's the one your momma warned you about. Always bluffing
about turning in his badge. Works with criminals and low-lifes. Will
either be shot by The Enforcer or arrested by The Last Honest Cop. Could
assume the identity of *any* of the other stereotypes.

The Lieutenant: this is a sort of "ubercop" who identifies leads and
assigns tasks and to his detectives in an omniscient machiavellian manner
that Grand Admiral Thrawn would be proud of. When something goes wrong, he
will be the guy talking to the press and taking the fall when the
politicoes get a bug up their ass.

The Captain: Similiar to the LT., the Captain is a little past his prime. 
New tools and methods of law enforcement and criminal behavior
occasionally escape his attention. Will soon either retire or metamorphose
into a Politcal Uniform. Roleplaying hint: be everyone's kind aunt/uncle
until something goes wrong, then scream and rant and rave like a berserk
USMC Drill Instructor. Be LOUD, Really Loudly! DAMMIT ARE YOU LISTENING TO
ME YOU WORTHLESS MAGGOT~! I SAID BE REALLY LOUD~! NOW SUCK SOME AIR
INTO YOUR SORRY CARCASS AND SOUND OFF LIKE YOU GOTTA PAIR~! 

The Rookie: it is the job of the rookie to be blown away in the first few
minutes of any shootout with a badass criminal. Then the vengeance of the
law comes down and inevitably destroys any abberant cop-killers in the
area.

The Country Sheriff: an amiable bumpkin who spends lazy days keeping his
bumbling deputy out of trouble, babysitting the town-drunk, and eating
fine southern-fried foods. Could become extremely competant in times of
crisis as racial memories of Confederate heroism during the civil-war are
dredged up by an encounter with the forces of the mythos. Due to extensive
hunting and killing of small furry animals with large wet eyes, the
country sheriff could probably shoot the whiskers off'n a horsefly at 100
paces, while drunk and blindfolded. 

The SWAT guy: This truly bad-ass is a walking action movie. Somehow he
always gets the two-fisted John-Woo Asian Revenge blood soaked cases of
DOOM~! He never runs out of ammo except on a critical failure (wherepon
his ultra-kewl reloading action gives him a bonus to intimidation), he
never get hit, even while taking a pleasant stroll through multiple fields
of fire. Often, innocuous looking objects will explode for no reason when
he is around. Sometimes, he likes to inexplicably chant "HUT HUT HUT!"

*******

That's all for now, in part TWO we examine how different police divisions
operate in the genuine authentic manner of television shows like Silk 
Stalkings, Starsky & Hutch, and Marshal Law.

The Man in Black is : Kenneth Scroggins
Novus Ordo Seclorum : Annuit Coeptus : E Pluribus Unum
Shane Ivey runs Arc Dream Publishing and is the lead editor of the newest Delta Green projects.

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