Date: Fri, 26 Feb 1999 21:19:39 -0500 (EST) From: The Man in Black To: Delta Green List Subject: DG: THE DELTA GREEN DRINKING GAME Reply-To: Delta Green List For those not familiar, the rules of a drinking game are to take a drink during an event (usually a television program or videotape) whenever certain cliched, formulaic or highly improbable events occur. Please practice responsible consumption of adult beverages or you will die of alcohol poisoning, become an alcoholic, give birth to deformed infants or otherwise force the Man in Black to ridicule your laughable tragedy in a public forum. THE GAME: NRO DELTA threatens the Agents: One Drink Friendlies fuck everything up: One Drink SaucerWatch FUBAR's everything: One Drink Agents fuck everything up: Two Drinks Friendlies save the day!: One Drink SaucerWatch saves the day!: Three drinks and your agents suck! Agents must think of a cover story for mythos activity: One Drink Their story sucks big cheese: Two Drinks Their story attracts national media attention: One Drink Their story attracts Majestic: One Drink Their story attracts SaucerWatch: One Drink Their Story attracts BOTH SaucerWatch AND Majestic: Four Drinks Agents must assassinate an Evil Cultist: One Drink The Evil Cultist(s) kills them all: Three Drinks Some loser accidentally summons a monster: One Drink A Great Old One appears: Three Drinks An Outer God appears: Chug the whole six-pack, unless it's Nyarlathotep, and he does nothing of import (see below). Ghouls fight each other: One Drink The Goody-Two-Shoes Ghouls win: Two Drinks ex-Soviets kill some ghouls: One Drink Majestic brainwashes someone: One Drink ...It's an Agent: Two Drinks ...It's an Agent's loved one: Three Drinks The Agent's loved one shakes it off: Another Three Drinks The Agents must travel to another country: One Drink ...It's the United Kingdom: Another Drink They encounter Shans in the U.K.: Yet Another Drink ...They DON'T encounter Shans: WTF? That's Five Drinks, plus the two from before! Y'golonac appears with a sock puppet: One Drink Y'golonac appears without a sock puppet, and NO ONE brings it up!: Two Drinks Carl Stanford gets beaten up really bad or killed: Three drinks Someone's head gets Squicked: Three Drinks An insane Russian cuts off his balls. OUCH!: One Drink Evil Swedes appear: Two Drinks, with a chaser of Swedish Meatballs, the book isn't even out yet, fer cryin' out loud! Stephan Alzis shows up to deal: One Drink The Agents refuse to deal: One Drink The Agents Deal, but get shafted: Two Drinks Alzis betrays a Lord of the Fate: Two Drinks Alzis gets killed, but later reappears with NO EXPLANATION WHATSOEVER: Three Drinks The Fate gets away scot-free with whatever it is they're doing: One Drink Nazis raise the dead: One Drink Nazi pawns get shafted by the Karotechia: One Drink Nazis steal a book: One Drink Karotechia fight amongst themselves: Two Drinks When Nazis show up, someone asks "Is this part of Emerald Hammer?": One Drink ...The answer is "yes": Two Drinks The agents request something ridiculous from A-cell (like a nuclear weapon): One Drink A-cell has it!: Two Drinks ...But they won't deliver: One Drink ...They DO Deliver!: Four Drinks, and your Keeper's name is Monty Haul The Agents request help from another cell: One Drink The other cell actually helps!: Two Drinks Someone uses one of the Man in Black's catchphrases: One Drink The Man in Black stole that catchphrase from Professional Wrestling: Another Drink The Agents get to use Kewl Technology: One Drink Someone hacks into a computer: One Drink ...They get caught!: Two Drinks Heavy Machinery is brought in: One Drink ...It BLOWS UP!: One Drink The Agents have a car chase: One Drink They chase someone on foot: Two Drinks The bad guy gets away, so the plot may continue: One Drink The Agents call each other on the cellular phone: One Drink Something significant happens on an airplane: One Drink ...on a Boat: Two Drinks ...on a military ship or airplane: Two Drinks Someone sees a UFO: One Drink ...they get abducted: One Drink ...they remember Mi-Go!: Two Drinks Majestic covers up Grey activity: One Drink SaucerWatch uncovers it!: One Drink ...Someone takes them seriously: Two Drinks The local NPC's are of no use whatsoever: One Drink The local NPC's are EXTREMELY useful: Two Drinks The local NPC's save the day!: Three drinks and your agents suck! A case from the 1920's is found to have great impact on the present day: One Drink You Investigated or Kept that scenario: Two Drinks A case from Delta Green's shady past is found to have great impact on the present day: Two Drinks You Investigated or Kept *that* scenario: Four Drinks Nyarlathotep appears in the scenario, but DOESN'T DO ANYTHING WORTHWHILE!: One Drink You're not playing with Chaosium's Basic Role-Playing System: One Drink You are, but you have lots of house rules: Two Drinks Your house rules are mostly combat-oriented: Another Drink You are playing over the internet (IRC, PBEM etc): One Drink, and you need to get out more and make some RL friends. ...and you have to interrupt the game for RL concerns: One Drink ...you ignore the RL concerns to continue uninterrupted gaming: Two Drinks, and you are a Loser. ...you ignore the RL concerns to continue gaming and some RL person gets mad at you: Three Drinks, HAH! BUSTED! Someone wants a gun no one else has heard of: One Drink ...They get it: Two Drinks, and your Keeper's name is Monty Haul The scenario requires a skill no one in their right mind would ever take: One Drink All the Investigators survive the scenario: Two Drinks, and your Keeper's a wimp! None of the Investigators survive the scenario: Three Drinks, and your Keeper sucks, or YOU suck. Someone is killed because of a bad dice roll: One Drink Someone is almost killed by a bad dice roll, but the Keeper has mercy: Two Drinks ******* That's it for now... If you think of any more Kewl additions to the Delta Green Drinking Game, go ahead and post them to the list. PS: Is there a Call of Cthulhu Drinking Game? The Man in Black is : Kenneth Scroggins Novus Ordo Seclorum : Annuit Coeptus : E Pluribus Unum [3.3.3.3.3.3] [Girard was Right!] [the sphere tesselates] [5d4/1d20 = the star of time]
